taking responsibility

I was watching TV and came across a reality show 'Runway' in which some designers compete through their fashion creations. Today's episode was about teamwork, and one of them got eliminated for being the weakest on that count. But that's not really what happened.

It came down to two persons. One had spent several hours crying because she cracked up under pressure. The other simply said that she was slower at sewing than the others and perhaps she herself should be eliminated. The judges agreed, saying that this being an industry, you are supposed to sell yourself, not eliminate yourself. The crying lady got another life.

The decision seemed ironic to me. Here is a person who is willing to take responsibility, who is humble, who instinctively dislikes to pass blame, and who has a kind heart, and she is eliminated on a test of teamwork! I think that I should love to work with such a person as my partner, rather than work with someone who is emotionally immature, or is prone to throwing tantrums.

Somehow, American TV has time and again given me the impression that qualities such as humility, willingness to share responsibility for failures, and not passing blame, are considered weaknesses in this culture. That is perhaps not true is actual work environments, because without these, teamwork is impossible.

Some Buddhist schools, on the other hand, cater to the opposite extreme. Taking responsibility is held sacred. In some of their teaching stories, I came across scenarios where an individual took responsibility quietly and calmly for mistakes that were perhaps not entirely his. And he was served as a model to readers. Isn't is true that taking responsibility for mistakes that you have not committed is a form of dishonesty? It misleads others and just happens to hurt you also. Perhaps the message of the story was that when it comes to taking responsibility, you must check your tendency to get defensive and make excuses. But the example came out as a little extreme to me.