I know a man who works really hard, but people tend not to respect him. He complains all the time. I have never once heard him say something like 'Things are under control. I am taking care of things.' Ironically, he does take care of a lot of things, things that other dislike doing, but he also complains. Just by virtue of what he does, the man ought to be of use to others. And use him, they do, and they pay him too, but they don't respect him.
Earning respect seems to have a lot of prerequisites.
People seldom respect a person who does not respect them.
Respect yourself if you wish to be respected by others. I have seen successful people brag about insincere or unethical actions. Respect vanishes right there. Success and power do not necessarily earn respect. They may fetch flattery, fear, or foolish idolization, but not respect. Of course, that is if you care about respect. There are many who enjoy flattery and being feared as much as being respected. Flattery is insincere, and comes from an expectation of receiving incentives in return. Fear comes from anticipation of penalties. Both satisfy the primal need of being bowed down to. Respect is more subtle - when someone holds you in high esteem with no expectation of incentive or penalty.
A person can react to a situation in a way that earns respect, or in a way that begs sympathy, but usually not both at the same time. This man, with whom I started my story, has spent his entire life playing the victim, begging for sympathy in his own way. It is hard to respect a man like that. Actions designed to earn respect, however, can sometimes earn both respect and sympathy, especially in cases where the outcome is tragic. The sacrifice of martyrs awakens feelings of honor and sorrow at the same time.
Earning respect seems to have a lot of prerequisites.
People seldom respect a person who does not respect them.
Respect yourself if you wish to be respected by others. I have seen successful people brag about insincere or unethical actions. Respect vanishes right there. Success and power do not necessarily earn respect. They may fetch flattery, fear, or foolish idolization, but not respect. Of course, that is if you care about respect. There are many who enjoy flattery and being feared as much as being respected. Flattery is insincere, and comes from an expectation of receiving incentives in return. Fear comes from anticipation of penalties. Both satisfy the primal need of being bowed down to. Respect is more subtle - when someone holds you in high esteem with no expectation of incentive or penalty.
A person can react to a situation in a way that earns respect, or in a way that begs sympathy, but usually not both at the same time. This man, with whom I started my story, has spent his entire life playing the victim, begging for sympathy in his own way. It is hard to respect a man like that. Actions designed to earn respect, however, can sometimes earn both respect and sympathy, especially in cases where the outcome is tragic. The sacrifice of martyrs awakens feelings of honor and sorrow at the same time.
2 comments:
really well written! are you a professional author?
No, I am not a professional author. But I take your comment as a compliment. Thanks :)
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